Stuff her Stocking with Love

It’s difficult to imagine being able to win at the holiday gift giving game when her bank account makes yours look like a child’s after a failed lemonade stand attempt. Last year she bought you an expensive watch, a gift certificate to have your car professionally detailed, and a week-long ski vacation. How are you going to top that? Spoiler alert … you’re not. At least, not in the way you hope to. Here’s the thing about most women who make more money than their man. First, they already know they make more money. Second, if they already know it and … [Read more...]

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, it’s probably beginning to sound a lot like Christmas, too as the yearly argument over which family to visit commences. Nothing screams the holidays quite like the verbal tug-of-war over whose family is crazier and therefore less deserving of your presence. Your Aunt Sally smells like a heady blend of industrial solvent, pipe tobacco, and Ben-Gay and when she hugs you the stench latches on to your clothing like a horny dog to your leg. Then there is his Grandpa Frank whose yearly, politically incorrect holiday … [Read more...]

Does she who pays the cable bill control the remote?

As an only child people often think that I was never taught to share. I was. Sharing was a rule in my house growing up. We shared food, stories, thoughts, responsibilities, and as I got older my mom and I shared shoes and makeup. What we didn’t share, though, was the television. That hour or two a day I was allowed to watch television didn’t mean much when my dad was downstairs in the living room because when he was in front of the TV, he was in control. Period. In his mind, the fact that he worked sixty hour weeks and paid the cable bill meant he … [Read more...]

Is settle a four letter word?

You can settle an argument or a legal dispute. You can decide to settle down and get married and have a family. You can even settle into a nice groove at work or school. Use the word “settle” in any of these ways and you have yourself a positive situation. How about when Mary settles for Tom, even though she isn’t interested, because he is the only man interested in her … then that is bad. But, is that settling or giving up? One definition of settling that Miriam-Webster offers is, “to end (something, such as an argument) by reaching a settlement.” So … [Read more...]

There is a magic number!

Psychologist John Gottman, whose area of study focused on predicting marital satisfaction, calls it the 5:1 ratio. Which, in a nutshell, means that a happy marriage isn’t devoid of conflict, but instead for every knock-down, drag-out fight you have you need five equally positive, loving and supportive interactions. Manage that and you are likely in a healthy and satisfying relationship. So, how do you keep the ratio up? 5 Things to do … Stay focused on the conflict at hand. If the argument is about dishes, then now is not the time to bring up the … [Read more...]

Sole Provider

Just because she pursued higher education and a career doesn't mean she pictured herself as the bread winner in her marriage, and just because she accepted that role doesn't mean she isn't struggling with it. If you find yourself in this position, you are not alone. Many women struggle with feeling inadequate for neglecting the household. Your apron strings are all in knots around your uterus because you don’t see your children as often. Then there are those nasty feelings of resentment that creep in because you feel obligated to work longer, harder … [Read more...]

The Mommy Problem

My mom has this little habit that drives me absolutely crazy. Like clockwork, each time I reach for my wallet in front of her, her knee jerk reaction is to ask me if I am sure I can afford it. Whether I’m trying to take her to lunch or buying some groceries, the sight of my wallet seems to immediately whisk her back in time in to my first year of college when I had no respect for money and thought credit cards were a secret loophole I had found to buy shit for free. Her maternal instincts take over and she absolutely has to make sure I’m not being … [Read more...]