Wedding Bells

Wedding.Well, Spring is here, and so with it begins wedding season. When I imagine wedding season, I often picture the TV show Bridezillas. To be honest, I don’t like the show, I’ve tried to watch it a couple of times but I rarely get more than five minutes in before I’m yelling at the groom to run away. I get that weddings are stressful and expensive and can bring out the worst in anyone but those monsters aren’t just terrorizing a wedding party, they are attacking a whole damn town. Watch out Tokyo, you’re next.

Most women from an early age have an idea of what they want their wedding to look like. It changes with time and perspective but in general a woman’s wedding day is about making a lifelong, girlhood fantasy come true. The problem arises when the desire to achieve that fantasy trumps all good sense. When a wedding becomes too expensive, or someone’s demands are unreasonable, or there is inflexibility and discord, it causes undue stress on not only the central relationship but on the rest of your friends and family as well.

So what’s the best way to have the wedding of your dreams without ruining your future marriage? Well, you have to adjust your expectations. It’s not about giving up your dreams it’s about finding a way to achieve that dream without sacrificing your marital and financial future.

As a responsible adult you learn that sacrifice and compromise are part of everyday life. You have to strike a balance between fantasy and reality. Ask yourself what you want, what you can reasonably afford, and how quickly you want it to happen. If you have time to save, and are willing to sacrifice some of the luxuries you enjoy to sock your money away until the deposits are due, then you can probably achieve your dream wedding. If you would prefer to get married sooner rather than later, and you haven’t won the lottery, then the responsible decision would be to make certain adjustments to your dream wedding so you aren’t up to your eyeballs in debt before you even say “I do.”

Dreams are important. You should have a dream career, a dream home, a dream partner, even a dream wedding. But keep this in mind, a woman who grew up dreaming of getting married on the beach might fall deeply in love with a man who has always dreamed he would get married where his parents had thirty years before. In this case, who should give up their dream for the other? Neither. That’s the point, you have to adjust for reality and build your new ideal wedding together. And you never know, it might turn out even better than you had ever dreamed possible.

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